Bugging Out
by gatehead81
Summary: Some things had always really bugged our hero and this was one of them. A short one-fic where Jack attempts to do something that has always freaked him out. Will he manage it this time or will he once again cringe in red faced failure? K rated J/S humour


**AN: Probably OTT and perhaps a little OOC humour/romance. Just passing the time so take it as it is :)**

**Summary: Some things had always really bugged our Jack and this was one of them. A short one-fic where our hero attempts to do something that has always freaked him out. Will he manage it this time or will he once again cringe in red faced failure? K rate humour.**

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><p><strong>BUGGING OUT<strong>

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><p>Jack really hated this aspect of himself and he knew he could do it if he really wanted to, he had done it before but this time he so did not want to and he knew someone who would do it for him if only he would ask. For a moment he contemplated his dilemma. Should he ask for help or should he just suck it up and get on with it. Biting his lip he decided he would just get on with it.<p>

The decision caused him to take in a deep steadying breath. _'Just think of it as an enemy that needs to be dispatched.'_ he thought to himself. Slowly he edged closer. The thing just sat there not moving. Was it even aware of his approach? Could it hear how hesitant his shuffle was? Was it watching him, aware of his weakness? Watching with its many, many eyes and waiting...

His own thoughts freaked him out and he froze, staring down at the small life form that had not budged one iota since he had first spotted it. "Okay, okay." he said aloud. "Get a grip Jack." Once again he started working on his breathing and inched forward one step at a time. He could actually hear his heart hammering in his chest and feel the cold sweat breaking out on his skin, this was ridiculous. Maybe if he was not naked it might be easier. Quickly he retreated and pulled on his boxer shorts.

Then he was back and was only half a foot away from the rim. Once more he found himself stalled. This time he was looking down at his bare hands. No way he was using just them. Glancing around the compact and familiar surroundings he lifted a glass that had been placed nearby and for a very different purpose. Gradually he began to stretch the glass down closer to where it needed to be but then it happened.

The creature that had been sedentary for so long jerked and twisted. "Gaahh!" Jack jumped at the sudden and completely unexpected movement. The glass in his hand hit the mat, rolled onto the tiles and rattled around a bit. His miniature enemy scurried up the smooth white slippery surface, got halfway up and fell back down again, wriggling and writhing staying on its back for a moment. Once again it attempted to climb out of the confines of the bath. "No, no, no." Jack breathed feeling panicked. "Sa-am!" he yelled as abruptly he lost all control and shot from the bathroom.

"What, what's wrong Jack." she called back anxiously and appeared at their bedroom door.

Jack who was now standing in the hall heard himself whinging and knew he was behaving like a wimpy little kid, which was something he had never ever been...not until it came to doing this. "I'm soo-rr-yyy!" he whined "I know it's pathetic but can you help me?"

Sam tried not to let out a short laugh at her big strong husband's antics. "Don't tell me there's another one?" she asked incredulously.

Jack used his hands to cover his reddening face. "It's an earwig this time and I can't do it. I tried. I swear."

Sam made her way down the hall, her nightie almost see-through in the backlight for the bedroom. "I know you tried, I heard the glass hit the floor, is it broken?"

"No, I don't think so." Jack answered now completely mortified.

Slowly he entered the small room behind his wife and peeked over her shoulder. "It's right there." he said pointing. "Up near the taps*****, beside the plughole."** (*faucets)**

"I see it." Sam said gently and felt his shudder running through her. "Why didn't you just turn the tap on?" she asked.

"Oh what and kill it? No Sam, that's not very fair. Just because it freaks me out doesn't mean it deserves to die!" He twisted round and looked her worriedly in the eye. "You will let it go won't you?"

Sam grinned widely at the big softy she had married, if only she'd known? "Of course I will let it go Jack." Then she bent down and retrieved the abandoned glass. "You sure you don't want another go?" she asked offering him the circular item. She knew how much he wished he could get over this one particular fear that had been brought on by sneaking out of bed in the middle of the night to watch a horror movie when he was just eight.

For a moment Jack contemplated what his wife was asking and looked back into the bath but the creepy, ugly, freaky little bug was doing that whole sticky up threatened thing with its pincers. In his mind he could hear it hissing menacingly at him. "No, no it's okay...in fact I think I am just going to wait out here if that's alright." Without waiting for an answer he left the room and drifted down the hallway.

Within a few seconds he heard the bathroom window clicking shut and knew Sam had taken care of the problem. Next he heard water running and scratched his head.

"Well come on." she called as her head popped out to look at him.

"Come on what?" Jack questioned as he ambled up to join her. His eyebrows rose when he saw that she had completely stripped off.

"I thought I'd better keep you company just in case there is another attack." she teased.

"Sa-am." he groaned once again feeling the colour rising in his cheeks. "It's not funny."

"I know and I'm sorry baby, come here." She pulled him close and kissed him. "But you do want my company right?"

Suddenly Jack knew exactly what she meant, he had been a little too preoccupied to catch on before but now all thoughts of weird creepy bugs were quickly leaving his mind. "Yeah you bet I do!"

"Good." she said and pulled him closer. "And Jack, please don't worry about having an aversion to bugs, you know it doesn't bother me."

"But it bothers me Sam. Do you have any idea how stupid I feel?"

Sam raised a single eyebrow. "Ah ye-es, you know I do." Jack frowned. "Remember that time we were on that planet and that damned snake appeared out of nowhere?"

Jack grinned down at her. "That's right, you screeched like a little girl and practically climbed up onto my knee."

"Well not exactly but you know I didn't sleep the rest of that night. You stayed up with me, kept me company, told me not to worry about it and that people had more embarrassing fears than Ophidiophobia."

Jack rocked his wife a bit in his arms. "And you were really surprised that I knew the name."

"Well yeah. But I hadn't caught on then that you were way smarter than people thought and just liked to hide it."

"I am not!" Jack responded, his voice filled with mock outrage.

"Oh whatever, General. I won't be fooled." Sam half stepped away from him and tested the temperature of the water. Satisfied she reached further over and shut off the taps altogether. "So you coming?" she asked looking over her shoulder.

Jack blew out a heady breath. "Not yet Darlin', ladies first, if ya know what I mean." and he waggled his eyebrows, stripped off his boxers and climbed in to join her...

END

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><p><strong>AN: So in this case it seems Jack did the right thing in asking for help. Am I right? *raises eyebrow*<strong>


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